One Link to heading
Jin Sipang(Four-Fat), a PhD graduate from Tsinghua University for five years, usually only drinks water in the company because the bottled water there is from Nongfu Spring, while it is obvious that the water in his rented house comes from Miyun Reservoir.
Although it is unclear what exactly is different about this water, as a programmer, Si Pang is increasingly anxious about his thinning hair.
One day, he was chatting with an old colleague in the same department. The friend told him that most of the water on earth was brought by comets colliding with the planet. (OMG, the entire ocean?)
Si Pang proudly taught this knowledge to his son upon returning home.
Then the tech-savvy son, who is eager to learn, asked, “Where did the water on the comet come from?”
Jin Sibang said angrily, “Hurry up and do your homework!”
Two, Link to heading
After the child fell asleep, exhausted but still seeking truth, the Four-Fat bit his teeth and gave up on the new episode of “Joy of Life” to pursue answers through scientific exploration.
The truth of the outcome is very frightening.
Every sip of water we drink comes from nuclear fusion and collapse of stars that have reached temperatures of several billion degrees.
The reason is very simple, water is H2O.
During the Big Bang, there was no oxygen element. Oxygen comes from supernova explosions.
So the next time you take a sip of water, think about which star it came from?
Three, Link to heading
After Jin Sipang was satisfied with the answer and had fallen into a deep sleep, he was suddenly startled awake in the middle of the night.
“Something is not right, it seems that these carbon-water skins on our bodies also come from the ashes of the stars.”
Indeed, except for the three elements of hydrogen, helium, and lithium, all other elements have gone through the hottest refining furnace of stars.
The carbon atoms that make up me, Four-Fat and Trump, are very likely from the same dazzling sun billions of years ago.
What exactly happened? Some carbon atoms formed the elite of humanity while others became mere weeds?
Four, Link to heading
“Si Pang cannot fall asleep.”
Why can the ashes of some stars force us to work 996, while we can only be forced to work 996?
This is unscientific.
There must be something wrong somewhere.
We are all the same ashes.
But where exactly did the problem arise?
The brain crashed, Si Pang finally fell asleep.
Five, Link to heading
The next morning, after only three hours of sleep, Jin Sipang felt dizzy and had no appetite. He reluctantly bought a canned egg pancake with a ham sausage that only contained flavor molecules but no meat, at the subway station.
“To fight until 9pm, heat is more important than protein,” Si Pang looked at his WeChat balance and comforted himself.
After boarding the subway, half of the people were watching “Joy of Life.”
Just when Sipang, who missed an episode last night, opened his phone, a message popped up saying that he only had 0.2G of data left for this month.
The bored Four-fat had no choice but to stare at the images on the phone of the person next to them.
Six, Link to heading
Just as the climax of that episode was about to happen, the subway arrived at the station.
Thinking about how the company wouldn’t allow him to watch videos, Jin Sipang walked to work feeling frustrated.
Suddenly, the bizarre idea from last night popped into his mind and he absentmindedly missed the new front desk receptionist in a camisole. This had never happened before.
Sitting on the supposedly high-end ergonomic chair in the company, Jin Si Pang felt uncomfortable all over his body. Leaning against the headrest made his shoulders ache, while not leaning against it made his neck hurt.
Looking at the familiar VS Code on the screen, Si Pang suddenly realized that he spent far more time looking at this black background with colorful text interface than he did looking at his wife and son.
At this point, the CTO walked over and told him to check his email. The product department had changed the requirements and all the features developed in the first four weeks would need to be rewritten.
The boss patted Si Pang’s shoulder and comforted him, saying, “Anyway, you are earning a salary, and the loss is the company’s.”
Seven, Link to heading
Jin Sipang suddenly wanted to jump up and slap his boss in the face.
But then he saw the Nongfu Spring water dispenser next to the workstation.
Si Pang has come to a realization: even though everyone may have once had a fervent heart like a supernova, now they are nothing at all.
I used to think I was an elite from a prestigious school, but in fact I was just a tool fed by others with TV dramas and junk food.
My own value is no different from the machine arm in a factory, and it is not far from the 35-year lifespan limit.
He rushed out of the office, just as a heavy downpour of rain was pouring down.
Jin Si Pang raised his arms and shouted loudly in the rain, “Who will come and save me?”
Suddenly, a lightning bolt fiercely struck above his head.
Eight, Link to heading
Jin Sipang fell down onto the concrete like a piece of wood.
Then, he felt himself becoming lighter and starting to float.
Jin turned his head and saw his body still lying on the ground. Then he passed through the clouds and flew into space.
As the speed increased, Jin Sipang lost consciousness.
When he woke up, he found himself inside a hypercube, facing an old man with a white beard.
The old man handed over a laptop.
Nine, Link to heading
“My Earth database has encountered some issues. As the person in charge of managing the largest singular data table on Earth, I have called upon you to optimize it,” the white-bearded old man said without room for doubt.
Jin Si Pang was feeling a bit confused. He opened his computer and found that it was SQL. However, the unprecedented speed of data changes inside was something he had never seen before.
Among them, a table with over seven billion rows called “Human” caught his attention. With a sudden inspiration, he typed in:
There was only one result returned, but there were so many fields that it took several thousand screens to scroll through them. He caught a glimpse of the value for Pseudo_Wife, which was Gakki, and chuckled to himself.
The last field “Health=1%” made Jin sipaang’s heart sink.
Ten, Link to heading
The old man with the white beard said, “This Weather table is abnormal: because there was a lot of redundancy when the program was first designed, but now it frequently overflows due to the rapid expansion of other tables.”
Jin Sipang said, “Your table design is too large, with too many fields that are affecting efficiency. It should be split into multiple tables.”
The old man said, “I use quantum computing and don’t even need to consider performance issues.”
After careful analysis, Jin Sipang found that the correlation between the Human table and the Weather table was too high. He manually lowered it by 50%.
After finishing the changes, the old man with a white beard said, “As a reward, I can give you an opportunity: within three minutes, you have the power to modify three values in the Human table, but only three.”
Eleven. Link to heading
Jin Si Pang first immediately increased his own Health to 100%, and then he began to waver.
He suddenly realized what a great opportunity this was and that he should do something great. He found the TechMoPu firm and changed Kindness from 38.2% to 100%.
Later, Jin Sipang found himself in his own profession, pondering for a long time in the “Wife” column.
At this point, I heard the old man say, “You only have 30 seconds left.”
Then press the submit button.
Twelve, Link to heading
In a moment, Jin Sipang found himself lying on a hospital bed surrounded by a group of doctors with open mouths and unable to close them.
At that moment, the phone in the pocket suddenly emitted a “beep” sound.
Si Pang took out his phone and looked at it:
Today’s headline from Toutiao reads, “Breaking News: President of the United States Resigns Suddenly. Successor Announces Adoption of Stronger ‘America First’ Policy.”